The woman in the photograph looks out at me with a face full of exhaustion and bliss. In her hands, she cradles the purplish, bloody bundle of a just-born child. There are so many ways to be a creep these days. One of the easier ways is to follow people on social media toward whom you have feelings that are other than warm. Her family lives up to a lot of hippie stereotypes: the off-grid life, the multiple home births, the homeschooling, the hot!
Here’s How It Went When I Had the Baby
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A tendency toward glibness can be a gift; it keeps you from panicking too quickly and can help leaven a heavy situation. It can also lead to you sitting on the toilet trying desperately to pass a stool that turns out not to be a stool at all. It was a pretty crappy clinic. I was convinced that were I to go to the hospital I would be met with scoffs and told to go home and fart on my own time, so I stayed in the bathroom, trying to poop, taking a bath, stroking the tiles very, very gently, and intermittently howling.
Stalking a Rustically Hip Family on Instagram
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